Izi ndizosangalatsa, tsankho lokhudza udindo wapadera wa amayi zakhala pafupi, komabe mpaka pano asungwana omwe sali pa msinkhu winawake (omwe alibe ubale wapamtima kapena wautali ndi mwamuna) amaonedwa ngati anyamata achikulire. Ndipo dzina lotchulidwanso silili lolemekezeka, anthu samawona izi monga chiyero ndi umphumphu, koma ngati msungwana wopanda vuto ndi kusasamala kwake kwa moyo wa banja. Kodi ndizoopsa kwambiri kukhala mtsikana wachikulire?
Amayi akale ndi ndani?
Poyamba, msungwana yemwe sanakwatirane (ndipo motero anamusungira namwali wake) mpaka zaka 25 zinkatengedwa ngati msungwana wachikulire. Anagwidwa ndi chisoni ndi amayi onse okwatiwa, chifukwa kutenga mkazi wotereyo kungakhale wamasiye, choncho mtsikanayo adayenera kupitilira zaka zake monga prizhivalka. Lero, atsikana achikulire amatchedwa omwe alibe nthawi yokwatira ndipo amakhala ndi ana a zaka 30-35. Ndizosangalatsa kuti tsopano mtsikana wachikulire akhoza kutchedwa yemwe anali ndi zibwenzi zambiri zogonana, ndiko kuti, mbali zakuthupi za vutoli ndizosafunika kwenikweni kwa anthu. Koma akazi osakwatiwa amatsutsidwabe ndipo amawatcha dzina lotiitana. Chifukwa asungwana ndi kuganiza, ziribe kanthu momwe angakhalire mtsikana wachikulire, ndi kuyesa kukokera anyamata awo ku ofesi yolembera. Palinso anthu oterowo omwe adzakhala ndi mtengo uliwonse kufikira zaka 30 zokwatira. Lolani chiyanjano sichiyenda bwino, ndipo tidzapulumuka chisudzulo muzaka zingapo (kapena ngakhale miyezi), koma mphete palake idatsimikiziridwa. Ndibwino kuti pali ochepa omwe amazunzidwa chifukwa cha malingaliro a anthu, chifukwa mtsikana wachikulire akhoza kukhala ndi kukhala ndi moyo wokhudzana ndi kugonana, ndipo atakhala wokwatiwa, ndipo atabala ana angapo. Zonse zokhudza psychology ya mdzakazi wakale, ndi mtundu wa matenda, womwe umayenera kulimbana ngati chikhumbo chokhazikitsa banja losangalala sichimawoneka kulikonse.
Psychology ya atsikana akale
Ukalamba, momwe msungwana wosakwatiwa amaonedwa kuti ndi mtsikana wachikulire, ndi zovuta kutchula, chifukwa sikutanthauza khalidwe. Palibe aliyense amene angatembenuze lirime kuti azimutcha mkazi wamalonda wokonzeka bwino, wamakono wa msinkhu wa zaka 40-45. Ndipo sizinso ngakhale muzipatala - asungwana ambiri, posakhalitsa kusiyana ndi osalakwa, sangayambitse kugwirizana ndi fano la mtsikana wakale. Ndizo zonse zokhudza khalidwe, njira ya moyo wa mkazi woteroyo, palinso ngakhale chomwe chimatchedwa matenda a mtsikana wakale. Amasonyezedwa ndi mtima wapadera kwa ena, mwa njira yolankhulirana. Akazi oterewa nthawi zambiri amanyodola kwambiri, amaseka zonse zomwe angathe, makamaka amuna. Amapemphera akuwonetsa kuti anzawo ndi anzawo amatha kusachedwa kusangalala komanso kusekerera pamene maulosi awo akukwaniritsidwa. Atsikana achikulire ali ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi chikhalidwe cha kugonana. Pali njira ziwiri zomwe zingatheke: mayiyo nthawi zonse amayankhula za kuipa kwa makhalidwe, amalankhula za zojambula, intaneti ndi magazini oonera zolaula, kapena amachititsa ngati kugonana, akuyesera kumupatsa wokwatirana malangizo pa gawoli, kuchotsa chidziwitso kuchokera ku zolemba za amayi.
Bwanji kuti musakhalebe mdzakazi wachikulire?
Ngati mwatsutsidwa kwambiri ndi maganizo a anthu komanso moona mtima
Ngati simukudziona kuti ndinu wopanda vuto chifukwa chosowa wokondedwa weniweni, ndiye kuti simukusowa. Zoona, nthawi zonse dzifufuzeni nokha kuti zizindikiro za msungwana wakale ndi, kuti awotche ndi chitsulo choyaka. Simukufuna kutembenukira mu gulu lokonzedwa? Kotero musaiwale kuti muzitsatira maonekedwe anu, momwe mungalankhulire ndi ena. Ndipo musamachite mantha kukondana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - masewerawa sangakuvulazeni, ngakhale sichikukula.