Kusakhulupirika kwa mnzanu ndi chimodzi mwazochitika zoopsa kwambiri. Kaŵirikaŵiri osati, izo zimadziwonetsera mwachinyengo kapena kusagwirizana. Nthawi zambiri anthu amasokonezeka ndipo samadziwa ngati amakhululukira wolakwa pambuyo pa zochitikazi. Pali zinthu zomwe zingakhululukidwe, koma palinso zinthu zosakhululukidwa. Aliyense ayenera kusankha izi mosasamala. Koma ziri kwa inu. Mulimonsemo, musasemphane, mukhoza kumangomangira mpanda munthu kapena kukhalabe wabwino.
Kodi mungabwezere bwanji chibwenzi kwa mtsikanayo?
Atsikana ambiri amadzifunsa kuti abwezere chibwenzi chotani? Apa ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zotsatirazi. Zimapweteka munthu wina, palibe yemwe amapita popanda chilango. Choncho malamulo a chilengedwe chonse akukonzedwa. Zimene mumapereka kudziko lakunja, mumatha nazo. Choncho yesetsani kusiya zochitikazo ndikuganiza kuti mukhululukire anthu amene anakuchimwirani.
Kodi mungapulumuke bwanji mukaperekedwa ndi mnzanu?
Choyamba, muyenera kudzikoka nokha. Muyenera kudzimverera nokha ndi chidaliro. Ngati mwasankha kuti mupitirize kuyankhulana ndi bwenzi lanu, posachedwa mutha kumvetsa nokha ngati kuyankhulana uku kuyenera kuthandizidwa. Ndipotu, pali zosiyana, yesetsani kumvetsa chifukwa chake chibwenzicho chinachita chimodzimodzi. Mwinamwake pali gawo la kulakwitsa kwanu mwa kusakhulupirika? Ngati mnzanu akufuna kulankhula pambuyo pa mkangano, onetsetsani kuti mumupatsa mwayi umenewu. Mwinamwake simunamvetsetse vutoli, mulimonsemo, mvetserani munthuyo ndikuyesera kumvetsetsa ngati ali woona mtima ndi inu.
Kodi n'zotheka kukhululukira kusakhulupirika?
Yankho ndi lophweka - ngakhale lofunikira. Sichidalira ngati mupitiriza kulankhula ndi munthu, izi ndi zofunika kwa inu. Kukhululukidwa nthawi zonse kumachepetsa moyo ndipo kumapereka mphamvu kuti apitirizebe. Mwinamwake, chibwenzicho chalakwitsa, choncho ndikofunikira kumupatsa mwayi wokonza chirichonse. Pambuyo pa mkangano, simukuyenera kumunyoza nthawi zonse ndikukukumbutsani zolakwitsa zomwe munapanga. Pambuyo pake, inu nokha mudzazindikira ngati muyenera kukhulupirira munthu uyu. Mwatsoka, kulakwa ndi kusakhulupirika ndizofala nthawi yathu, koma pali anthu ambiri abwino ndi oona mtima. Yesetsani kupeza ndi kuyankhulana ndi zoterezi, m'dera lanu, iwo alidi.
Psychology ya kusakhulupirika
Zikuwonetseranso kuti nthawi zambiri zimachitika mosadziŵa. Nthawi zina wogulitsa sazindikira kuti ndi wotsutsa, koma malipiro onsewa ndi ofanana. Vuto la dziko lamakono ndilokuti pachiyambi sitinamvetse zinthu zina. Choncho, anthu amachita zolakwa zazikulu kwambiri. Ambiri amadziwa zolakwa zawo pokha akalamba, zomwe zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri. Kusakhulupirika kwa bwenzi lapamtima ndikutembenuka kosangalatsa, koma yesetsani kuyang'ana mkhalidwewo. Mwinamwake mungaphunzirepo phunzirolo kapena ganizirani ubwino wanu mmenemo. Yesani kufufuza bwinobwino. Mwina mwatayika mnzanu wapamtima, koma kodi ndi bwino kukhumudwa ngati wina angakuvulazeni ndikusiya ubwenzi wanu?
Kusakhulupirika kwa okondedwa nthawi zonse kumabweretsa chisoni chachikulu. Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti simungathe kukhululukira. Ndipotu, zonse zimakhala zachibale. Inu nokha muyenera kuyang'anitsitsa mkhalidwewo ndikudzipatulira nokha. Ngati simungathe kulimbana ndi izi, ndizomveka kutembenukira kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo yemwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsa zonse ndikuphunzitseni momwe mungakhululukire . Tikukhulupirira kuti malangizo athu adzakuthandizani kupanga chisankho choyenera.