Mayi lero akuyesera kukhala paliponse komanso nthawi zonse choyamba. Chithunzi chokwanira, maonekedwe, zovala, ndondomeko yangwiro mnyumba, kupita patsogolo mofulumira pa ntchito, moyo waumwini wapambana - sizinanso zomwe amayi amakono akufuna kuti akwaniritse. Ndipo izi si zoipa, koma zimayamikika kwambiri. Komabe, monga mukudziwira, zonse zili bwino moyenera. Zowonjezera, zowonongeka ndi zoyesayesa nthawi zonse chifukwa cha zotsatira zabwino timazitcha kuti ungwiro. Izi, poyang'ana, ntchito yabwino imabweretsa munthu aliyense mantha, ndipo izi zimapangitsa kuti nthawi zonse azivutika maganizo, kuvutika maganizo. Mwachidziwitso, matenda a akazi a m'zaka za zana la 21 ndikutengeka kwathunthu, kotero ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa momwe tingamenyerere.
Choyamba, tiyeni tiyang'ane tanthauzo la mawu omveka bwino mu psychology. Kuchokera pakuwona kwa sayansi, pansi pa pefectionism kumamveka chikhumbo chowongolera cha kupambana, chomwe chingakhoze kugwirizanitsa zonse pa umunthu wa munthu ndi mtundu uliwonse wa ntchito. Pali thanzi labwino komanso labwino. Ndi munthu wathanzi amatha kukhala wokondwa pang'ono, chidwi chake chimayang'ana pazochita zawo komanso njira zothetsera zolinga zawo. Pokhala ndi zolinga zapamwamba ndikugonjetsa njira yozikwaniritsa, munthu amakondwera. Pathological perfectionism amatanthauza kuti munthu adzikhazikitsira yekha zolinga zosadziwika ndipo amawatsogolera osati chifukwa cha chilakolako ndi zosangalatsa, koma chifukwa cha mantha olephera. Chotsatira chake, kufunafuna zabwino kumasanduka kudzizunza.
Kodi chikhumbo cha zabwino chidzachokera kuti?
Zomwe zimayambitsa zowonongeka koteroko nthawi zambiri zimayikidwa muubwana ndi makolo. Mwina iwo anakuwonetsani khalidwe lawo kuti ngati simusonyeza zotsatira zabwino pazinthu zina, ndiye kuti mutamandidwe ndikusamala zomwe simukuziwona. Izi ndizo momwe kudzidalira kudzichepetsa ndi mantha a kumverera ngati otayika kumakula. Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti pokhala wamkulu palibe yemwe amafunikira zotsatira zabwino, koma iwe umasowa wekha - kudzipangira nokha ulemu, kudziwonetsera wekha kuti ndiwe wofunikira chinachake.
Mmene mungagwirire ndi ungwiro?
Ngati mwazindikira kuti kufunafuna moyo wabwino sikukubweretseni chisangalalo kwa nthawi yaitali, ndiye mukuchiritsidwa ndi lingaliro laling'ono koma malangizo othandiza angakuthandizeni:
- Phunzirani kuikapo patsogolo, kusiyanitsa zolinga ndizofunikira, ndikugawira zomwe mukuchita mwanjira yoyenera.
- Dzipatseni ufulu wosakhala wangwiro pa chirichonse, chifukwa aliyense ali ndi khalidwe lake labwino kwambiri ndipo simudzasangalatsa aliyense.
- Pofuna kukhalabe ndi thupi komanso maganizo, ndikofunika kuphunzira kupuma, ntchito ina ndikupumula.
- Ngati n'kotheka, ndibwino kuti mutenge mapulogalamu ndipo pakapita kanthawi yang'anani ntchito yomwe mwachita kale ndi mawonekedwe atsopano. Mwina sizoipa monga momwe mumaganizira poyamba.
- Perekani nokha ufulu wa zolakwitsa zina ndi kutsutsidwa mu adilesi yanu, chifukwa kutsutsa kumatanthauza chidwi pa ntchito yanu ndi chikhulupiriro chanu kuti mungathe bwino.
- Zing'onozing'ono zodziyerekezera nokha ndi ena ndipo musadzidzimangirire nokha chifukwa cha kulephera, muzitengere monga mtundu wina wa moyo.
- Ndikofunika kuti mudziwe kudzitamandira nokha, kuti muone nokha osati zolakwa zokha, komanso machitidwe abwino ndipo nthawi zambiri muzidzikumbutsa.
- Potsiriza, dzipezeni ntchito kwa moyo, chifukwa cha zosangalatsa, osati chifukwa.
Kawirikawiri zimatiwoneka kuti angwiro ndiwo miyezo yopambana, okondwa kwambiri ndi osangalala kuposa ife. Komabe, awa ndi anthu omwe nthawi zonse samakhutitsidwa ndi iwo okha, iwo amakhala osasinthasintha nthawi zonse ndipo samadziwa bwino zauzimu. Kuti potsiriza muthe kuchotsa ungwiro, ndikofunikira kukumbukira kuti dziko lapansi silidzafika poyerekeza, kotero inu musamafunse kwa iye ndi inu nokha zosatheka.