Ngati izi zikukulimbikitsani inu, tidzabwereza mawu otsatirawa kachiwiri. Malinga ndi akatswiri, n'zosatheka kulingalira ukwati popanda mikangano - choncho, popanda mavuto a m'banja. Izi ndi zomwe akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena paukwati: "Ukwati ufanana ndi zamoyo: umakula, umakula, umasintha, ukakhala wathanzi, ukadwala. Komabe, chofunikira kumvetsetsa ndi zotsatirazi. Mmene ukwati umasinthira ndendende chifukwa m'zaka zambiri, mamembala ake awiri akusintha. "
Izi ndizimene zizindikiro zisanu ndi chimodzi za vuto la ubale zikuwoneka ngati:
- mikangano yanu imakhala yowonjezereka;
- zibwenzi zanu zogonana zakhala zikuyenda bwino - poyerekeza ndi zaposachedwa;
- inu ndi mnzanuyo mumakhala chete patsogolo pa TV kwa maola ambiri;
- iwe wayamba kukhala wokondweretsedwa ndi anthu ena okonda zachiwerewere;
- nthawi zonse mumakopeka ndi mnzanuyo ndipo mwakonzekera mphindi iliyonse kuti muyambe kukangana naye;
- mumayesa kukhala kunja kwa nyumba momwe mungathere.
4 zovuta za ubale
Malinga ndi akatswiri, okwatirana aliyense ayenera kuyang'anizana ndi mavuto akuluakulu anayi m'banja lawo. Tikulemba:
- Vuto loyambirira limagwera pa ubale wa banja pambuyo pa chaka choyamba chaukwati. Ngakhale kuti okwatirana panthawiyi ali ndi chiyembekezo chochulukirapo, akhoza kupulumuka pavuto chifukwa cha kukhumudwa, komwe kawirikawiri kumabwera pambuyo poyambira.
- Vuto lachiwiri likuwonetsedwa mu ubale wa banja pambuyo pa zaka ziwiri kapena zitatu zaukwati. Ngati tilingalira kuti chaka choyamba chaukwati, chilakolako chikuyamba kutha, okwatirana amakumana maso ndi maso. Komabe, nthawiyi ndi yomwe amai angayambe kukayikira ngati munthu wosankhidwayo amakumana ndi ziyembekezo zake, komanso ngati angathe kumusangalatsa.
- Vuto lachitatu la kugonana kwa banja limakhudzana ndi kubadwa kwa mwana woyamba. Mwadzidzidzi, m'malo mwa awiri, banja limakhala anthu atatu. Ndipo pamene mkazi ndi mwamuna amayesetsa kugwira ntchito ya amayi ndi abambo, motero (zomwe zomwezo ndizovuta kwa onse), kuthetsa ukwati kumakhala kosavuta. Inde, vuto lachitatu lingakhudze maubwenzi apabanja asanakumanepo ngati banjali liyamba ukwati wawo nthawi yomwe ali ndi mimba.
- Vuto lachinayi likupezeka mu ubale wa banja patapita nthawi, pamene maudindo pakati pa okwatirana ndi olekanitsidwa nthawi yaitali, ndipo amagwirizanitsidwa kwambiri ndi vuto laumwini wa mmodzi kapena onse awiri. Ngati poyamba amakhulupirira kuti vutoli limakhalapo pakatha zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri zakubadwa, ndiye akatswiri masiku ano amakhulupirira kuti vuto lalikulu lachibale limapezeka zaka 10 ndi miyezi 11 yokwatirana.
Kodi mungatani kuti muthane ndi mavuto a m'banja?
Funso loyamba limene muyenera kudziyankha nokha ndilo: kodi mukufunadi kusunga ukwati wanu? Ngati ndi choncho, funsani ngati mnzanu akufuna chimodzimodzi. Onse awiri muyenera kukhala ndi chilakolako cholimbana ndi mavuto omwe abwera m'banja lanu, mwinamwake simungathe kusunga ubale wanu.
Kwa aliyense wa okwatirana, sikungakhale bwino kukwatiwa kokha chifukwa chakuti zoterezi zimagwirizanitsa aliyense.
Kawirikawiri psychology ya vuto ili ndiloti muukwati wawo mamanja amatha kusokoneza chizindikiro ndi vuto lomwe linabereka. Malingana ndi chiwerengero, chifukwa chosalekeza chokhalira ndi kusakhulupirika kwa mmodzi mwa okwatirana. Komabe, mawonekedwe a munthu wachitatu, monga lamulo, nthawizonse amakhala zotsatira. Ndipo zotsatira zake n'zakuti mavuto m'banja mwanu akhalapo kwa nthawi yaitali - inu mwachifukwa china simunamvere zizindikiro zake. Choncho - choyamba chosiyanitsa chizindikiro ndi vuto lomwelo!
Kotero, mungathandize bwanji banja lanu ngati mavuto m'banja lanu abwera kale?
- Lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo za zomwe zachitika pakati pa inu. Amayi ambiri amasankha ndale, akuyembekeza kuti mavuto omwe ali nawo m'banja lawo adzadutsa okha, ngati akhala chete - akudziyerekezera kuti palibe choopsa chomwe chikuchitika m'nyumba zawo. Ichi ndi kulakwitsa! Kukhala chete kumaponyera mavuto onse mozama, komanso kumachulukitsa nambala yawo.
- Lembetsani zolemba zomwe mukufuna. Pamaso panu - munthu wamoyo, osati munthu wodabwitsa kwambiri nyenyezi. Ngati sakufuna kumvetsera zofuna zanu kapena zopempha zanu, ichi ndi chinthu chimodzi. Koma ngati sangathe kuzikwanitsa - ndizosiyana. Ngati simukufuna kukulitsa mavuto a ubale wanu, musaumirize mwamuna wanu kuti adziwonetsere nokha kuti mukulephera.
- Pezani wina ndi mzake. Akatswiri a zamaganizo amanena kuti ngakhale anthu okonda kwambiri amatha kukhala mwezi umodzi pachaka osati pamodzi. Inu, mwinamwake, munayenera kumva za okwatirana omwe amakhala okha kwa masiku amodzi kapena awiri pa sabata. Afunseni, kodi iwo amadziwa ngakhale mavuto omwe ali nawo m'banja?
- Tchulani thandizo la maganizo. Muvuto mu ubale wa banja, malangizo a munthu wosakhudzidwa akuyang'ana pa zinthu zomwe zili kunja akhoza kukhala ofunika kwambiri.
Kodi mungatani ngati mutagonjetsa mavuto a m'banja mwanu? Choyamba, onetsetsani kuti mwamenyera kusunga banja nthawi yaitali - ndikoti, miyezi isanu ndi umodzi. Ngati, ngakhale zilizonse, simunawonepo bwino mu ubale wanu, dzifunseni nokha - momveka bwino! - Funso lachiwiri, ndilo: kodi kuli koyeneradi kwa inu mwamuna amene mwamusankha kukhala mwamuna wanu? Yesetsani kukhala ngati akazi omwe amaona chisudzulo ngati kugonjetsedwa kwakukulu. Ganizirani za kuti nthawi zambiri kusudzulana sikumapeto kwachisoni, koma kukhala chiyambi chosangalatsa kwambiri.