Kumva nsanje ndizozoloŵera kwa munthu aliyense. Mbiriyi ili ndi zitsanzo zambiri, pamene zonyengerera, zotsutsa zolinga za anthu, zinachitidwa ndi kaduka. Mwinamwake, mu moyo wa tsiku ndi tsiku, kaduka sikumapweteka padziko lonse lapansi, komabe n'zotheka kuwononga moyo ndi kaduka ndi chinthu china. Kodi nsanje ndi momwe mungagwirire nazo? Mayankho a mafunso awa ali pazifukwa za kaduka.
Kuti tipeze kumvetsetsa kozama kwakumverera kotere, titha kupita ku nzeru za anthu komanso maganizo a anthu. Ndiponsotu, anthu onse ali ndi malemba ambiri ndi zochitika za kaduka. Aphorisms za nsanje yoyera, aphorisms za kaduka wakuda, aphorisms za kaduka ka akazi komanso za nsanje za abwenzi. Ndipo nzeru zilizonse zomwe timatenga monga chitsanzo, chofunika kwambiri chidzakhala chimodzi-kaduka kumapweteka ndi kuwononga, kumabweretsa tsoka kwa onse omwe amakhudza. Kotero kodi ndi bwino kupereka moyo wako ku mphamvu yakumverera kotereku? Kapena yesetsani kupeza momwe mungachotsere kaduka? Koma ndi chinthu chimodzi pamene maganizowa akukhudza munthu mmodzi yekha amene amasankha kugonjetsa kaduka, ndipo chinthu china ndikutayang'ana anthu pafupi ndi abwenzi akuvutika ndi nsanje yawo. Ndipo pakati pazinthu zina, pa njira yopambana, munthu amakumana ndi nsanje za anthu, zomwe zimadetsa kukoma kwa chigonjetso. Pazochitika zonsezi, njira zotsutsana ndi kaduka zidzakhala zosiyana, koma pali zifukwa zambiri.
Kodi mungachotsere bwanji nsanje?
Kumverera kwa nsanje nthawizonse kumayenderana ndi tchimo, chifukwa ilo liri ndi chiwonongeko. Choncho, ndi kaduka mumtima mwako, nkofunika kulimbana mofulumira komanso mopanda chifundo. Ndipo choyamba muyenera kupeza zifukwa zomverera. Nthawi zambiri, chifukwa cha kaduka ndikumverera koopa kugonjetsedwa, kukhala woipa kuposa wina aliyense. Koma mantha samawuka kuchokera pachiyambi. Pamene munthu sakudzikonda yekha, pamene savomereza ubwino wake ndi ubwino wake wonse, ndiye kuti munthuyo ayamba kubisala kwa iwo omwe amamuzungulira kuti amaona kuti ndi wosayenera. Zolinga zimayamba pamaziko a lingaliro lomwe anthu oyandikana nawo amayamba. Monga zotsatira, munthu amapereka moyo wake ku chikhumbo chokhala ndi zinthu zabwino, kukhala bwino, kukhala moyo wabwinoko. Koma amamanga zonsezi poyerekezera ndi wina, choncho sangathe kukhutira ndi ntchito yake. Maganizo a zabwino ndi zoipa ndi nsanje, ndipo kusiyana kuli kokha ngati kumverera uku kumavulaza ena. Koma kwa munthu wa nsanje, ziribe kanthu kuti kaduka kumamuwononga bwanji. Pachifukwa ichi, chitetezo chabwino pa kaduka wanu wakuda ndikudzivomereza nokha. Landirani zolakwa pamodzi ndi zoyenera, musaope kuvomereza kuti simuli abwino monga momwe mumafunira kuoneka. Kamodzi pamene munthu amavomereza zomwe ali nazo, amasiyidwa ndi mantha kuti awonekere, amasiya chikhumbo chake chokhala wabwino kuposa wina. Pamene munthu adzikonda yekha, safuna kusinthanitsa ngakhale gawo lake payekha phindu lililonse, ndipo pokhapokha iye sangathe kudzikuza yekha poganiza kuti wina ali bwino. M'malo mwake, abwenzi ndi achibale onse apambana adzabweretsa chimwemwe chenicheni, ndi kukondweretsa munthu.
Kodi mungachotse bwanji abwenzi kapena abwenzi anu?
Kawirikawiri, nsanje imayambira poyerekeza ndi anthu omwe ali ndi bwalo limodzi, malo omwe ali ndi chikhalidwe. Choncho vuto la kudana ndi abwenzi ndilofala. Kwa amuna, nsanje nthawi zambiri imawonetsedwa ndi mkwiyo, kunyozedwa, ndi kuyesa kunyozetsa. Zimakhala zovuta kumvetsa momwe tingachotsere kaduka kazimayi, chifukwa amayi ndi osiyana ndi omwe amatha kusokoneza malingaliro awo. Inde, n'zosavuta kuchepetsa kukhudzana ndi anthu achisoni, koma nthawi zina, n'kosatheka. Ngati muwona kuti kupambana kwanu kumapangitsa nsanje za achibale, ndiye kuti ndi zolondola kunena zokamba za nkhaniyi ndikuyesetsani kuthana ndi maganizo omwe adayamba. Musamaimbe anzanu chifukwa cha nsanje, chifukwa ambiri satha ngakhale kuvomereza kumverera kwawo kwaokha. Cholinga cha zokambirana ndikupulumutsa wokondedwa kuchokera kuchisoni cha mumtima, kuganiziranso maganizo ake, kuvomereza ndi kudzikonda wekha.
Inde, mukhoza kuchitira nsanje monga khalidwe, kapena chifukwa cha mavuto a moyo. Koma izi ndi zophweka, zopitirira moyo, zomwe zimalepheretsa moyo wathunthu. Kupanga zifukwa kapena kulimbana ndi kusankha kwa aliyense payekha. Musaiwale kuti pa zosankha zonse ndi zotsatira zake tili ndi udindo, ndipo ziri kwa ife ngati tidzakondwera ndi chimwemwe chathu, kapena tingoyang'ana chimwemwe cha ena.