Mayi aliyense amafuna kukhala naye wokondedwa pafupi. Koma mwatsoka, zimachitika kuti munthu woganizira amapezeka kuti ndi weniweni wa pakhomo. Azimayi ambiri samvetsa momwe alephera kuyang'ana khalidwe loopsa mwa osankhidwa awo. Koma kupondereza kwakukulu ndi funso lakuti "Kodi maso anga anali kuti", ndi choti achite ngati munthu ali woopsa ndi wotsutsa, momwe angakhalire naye, komanso chofunika kwambiri, kaya ndi choyenera kuchita.
Kodi "abambo a banja" amatanthauzanji?
Pankhani ya osokoneza m'banja, mwamuna amaoneka ngati ataledzera yemwe amamukantha mkazi wake nthawi zonse. Koma tanthawuzo la mawu oti "wofunsira" ndi lalikulu kwambiri, munthu amene sagwiritsa ntchito chiwawa pa okondedwa ake akhoza kugwa pansi pa tanthauzo lotere. Kusokoneza maganizo kungawonetsenso kukwaniritsidwa kwa zikhumbo za wina, kudzichepetsa, zoletsedwa nthawi zonse. Ndizosasangalatsa kwambiri kuti mwamuna amayamba kukhala wampondereza ndi wosokoneza osati kamodzi, nthawi zambiri zinthu zimayambira ndi zifukwa zopanda pake, zophimbidwa ndi chiwonetsero cha chisamaliro choona. Choncho, kuzindikira munthu wotero si kophweka, nthawi zotsatirazi mu khalidwe ayenera kuchenjeza.
- Chiwembu-chizunzo. Iye amangokutsutsani nthawi zonse, akunena kuti mukuchita chilichonse cholakwika. Ndipo pamene mutayamba kuchita pa pointer yake, pali nthawi zatsopano zosankha, ndipo nthawi zambiri amakunyozani, amadzitsutsa.
- Nthawi zambiri amadandaulira yekha, akufotokozera kuti zonse zimakuchitirani inu, akuti zidzakhala zabwino kwa inu. Koma pazifukwa zina amaiwala kufunsa maganizo anu kapena, atatha kufunsa, samazimva.
- Ikuletsani inu kuti muzigwira ntchito mwachindunji kapena mu bungwe lirilonse, ndipo zifukwa zake zonse zingachepetse kukhala "Ine sindikufuna".
- Nsanje, nthawi zambiri sizolondola, zomwe zimatchedwa "nsanja iliyonse."
- Zotsutsa pa kugwiritsa ntchito zodzoladzola, kugula zinthu zatsopano, kulungamitsidwa chifukwa chakuti mwamuna wako ali kale nawe ndipo kotero simukuyenera kutsogolera aliyense.
- Musalole kuti muziyankhulana ndi achibale anu, abwenzi ndi abwenzi kapena osankha ndi omwe mungakhale abwenzi, komanso omwe simungakhale nawo.
- Ali ndi malingaliro ake, zofuna zake, khalidwe linalake la khalidwe, chifukwa zochita zake ndi zokhumba zake ndizo zowona.
- Mwamuna ndi wankhanza komanso wozunza ndipo sangakane.
Zifukwa zomwe munthu amapanga kuti akwaniritse chifuniro chake, zingakhale zosiyana kwambiri:
- mkhalidwe wochepa wa mkazi;
- kudalira chuma pa mwamuna;
- chinsinsi chachikulu.
Kawirikawiri, anthu odzichepetsa amayesa kuchititsa manyazi ena, kuyesa kutsimikizira kuti ndi ofunika mwa njira iyi. Mwa njira, mkazi nayenso akhoza kukhala wopondereza, kukakamiza chifuniro chake, nthawi zambiri ana kuposa mwamuna wake. Koma kawirikawiri wofunsira m'banja si mayi, koma atate. Chifukwa cha kulera koteroko, mwanayo amakula komanso amakhala ndi khalidwe la makolo ake kapena akukula ndi chiwerengero chachikulu cha zovuta komanso kudzichepetsa, zomwe zimaperekedwa chifukwa cha manyazi omwe ali ofooka.
Momwe mungakhalire ndi munthu ngati ali wochenjera komanso wopondereza?
Ngati mlandu suli kuyambika, khalidwe la wozunza likhoza kukonzedwa, kumupatsa chidzudzulo. N'zotheka kuti ayang'ane mitundu ina ya makhalidwe. Kotero, momwe mungagwirire ndi dotolo?
- Tsimikizani moyankha yankho lake, musalole kuti munthu akuchititseni manyazi.
- Ngati pali ana, musaiwale za iwo. Yesetsani kulankhula ndi mwamuna wanu za iwo.
- Ngati mumatsutsa mwamuna wanu nthawi zonse za momwe mumaphika ndi kuchita ntchito zina zapakhomo, musamamuchitire chinachake. Mulole iye achite zonse zomwe iye mwini, monga iye akukondera.
- Kawirikawiri amayi omwe amagwera pansi pa ulamuliro wa wolamulira wamba akuganiza kuti ndi osayenerera zabwino. Pofuna kupewa izi, yonjezerani kudzidalira kwanu, mukwaniritse zotsatira zabwino,
ngakhale ngati ukukongoletsedwa ndi mtanda. Kotero inu mukulitsa bwalo la anthu omwe adzakulemekezani inu, ndipo izi zidzakuthandizani kumvetsa kuti ndinu oyenera kukhala ndi mtima wabwino kwa inueni. Kulankhulana nthawi zambiri ndi abwenzi omwe amayamikira maganizo anu. - Osatidziwika bwino mwa njira yathu - kuyitana kwa katswiri wamaganizo a banja, mwina kudzakuthandizani kulimbana ndi mavuto. Ngakhale, kuti ntchito yonse ikhale ndi kukhalapo kwa mwamuna wanu.
Zimakhalanso kuti palibe chimene chingawathandize, kuponderezedwa kwa chizunzo cha banja sikuleka, mwamunayo amaletsa manja ake, amanyodola ana, pakadali pano palibe njira ina - tiyenera kuchoka.