Kodi tikudziwa chiyani za malingaliro a munthu, kupatula kuti ndi (mosiyana ndi mkazi), ndipo ndi chitsulo? Ndipo palibe china. Ndiye kodi ndikudabwa kuti tikukayikira ngati n'zotheka kumvetsa munthu? Ndibwino kuti chilichonse chikhale chotheka, tsopano tizingolingalira momwe anthu amaganizira, ndipo pomwepo tiyamba kumvetsa zolengedwa zodabwitsa izi.
Amuna amaganiza bwanji?
Gwirani mutu wanu, osadziwa momwe mungamvetsetse malingaliro a anthu? "Koma kodi wina amamvetsetsa kupatula amuna okhawo? Zonse zomwe ayenera kuwerengera, zitsimikizirika, makamaka mogwirizana ndi malamulo. Ndipo pamwamba pa chidziwitso, zolengedwa zopanda chifundozi zimangoseka basi! "
Mwina wina angagwirizane ndi mawu awa, ndipo wina akhoza kuthamangira kukatsimikizira kuti anthu sali choncho. Chinthu chodabwitsa ndi chakuti aliyense wa maphwando adzakhala ndi njira yawoyake. Kotero, anthu amalingalira bwanji, malingaliro awo amachokera pa chiyani?
- Malingaliro a anthu alidi achitsulo, chifukwa amamangidwa pazowona. Palibe munthu amene angapange malingaliro, kufotokozera malingaliro ake, poganizira za mphekesera ndi miseche. Ndicho chifukwa chake amanyansidwa ndi chidziwitso chathu, sichikugwirizana ndi zoona. Funsani, nchifukwa ninji magulu athu amphamvu, okhala ndi chida champhamvu chotere monga malingaliro a munthu, nthawi zambiri amataya akazi a intuition? Ndi zophweka, mkazi ali wofooka mwakuthupi kuposa munthu, koma amapatsidwa chidziwitso chodziwitsira kwambiri monga malipiro. Zimakulolani kuti muganizire zochepa zomwe zikuchitika mmoyo wanu ndikupeza zolondola. Koma malingaliro sangathe kuchita izi, ndi bwino kuthetsa mavuto osadziwika. Kawirikawiri, akakumana ndi zochitika zenizeni, atatsimikiziridwa momveka bwino ndi malingaliro amphongo, mndandanda womvekawo umasokonezeka.
- Maganizo a amuna amachokera pa masomphenya omwe ali nawo pa chithunzicho, iwo alibe chidwi ndi zinthu zazing'ono. Mayi uyu adzalingalira mfundo, kufufuza, kuyang'ana zizindikiro zazing'ono. Ndi chifukwa chake munthu sangathe kuona kusintha kwakukulu pa maonekedwe a wokondedwa. Chinthu chachikulu chomwe chikuwoneka chikukondabe, ndipo mtundu wa tsitsi - wokondedwa kapena golidi - ulibe kanthu.
- Malingaliro a amuna amadziwa dera lokha lokha: ziwerengero, zoona. Palibe maonekedwe achikondi, ndizofotokozeka momveka bwino komanso momveka bwino. Azimayi nthawi zambiri amadalira malingaliro awo, makamaka kumvetsetsa komanso kugwira ntchito pamalingaliro ochepa chabe. Koma popeza mwa amuna oterowo simunakhazikitsidwe, ndiye samasowa maganizo poyesa mkhalidwewo. Kotero musamunene mwamuna wanu chifukwa cha kusamvera ngati mutapempha maganizo ake za mawonekedwe anu. Iye akuyesera kukuthandizani, kungofunafuna zenizeni, kuti athe kuyika maganizo ake pa zomwe.
Momwe mungalankhulire ndi amuna?
Zikupezeka kuti ndizosiyana kwambiri, ndipo ndi motani momwe mungayankhulire ndi mwamuna, kuti amvetsetse?
Kawirikawiri, amuna samakhala omasuka kulankhula, osawona cholinga cha zokambirana - kukambirana kopanda kanthu ka nyengo, koma sikuti akulimbikitsira "tsitsi la Tanya". Ndiuzeni mwachindunji zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa interlocutor. Ndiyeno iye, chinthu chosauka, adzatayika mumtsinje wanu wa mawu ndipo adzakwiya ndi mawu oyamba motalika kwambiri. Ndipo mukumverera osatetezeka kuti musakonde aliyense, makamaka amuna omwe sakonda izo ndi chikhumbo chawo chamuyaya cha utsogoleri.
Musazengereze kufunsa mafunso. Koma aponso ayenera kukhala enieni, osati "momwe zinthu zikugwirira ntchito." Choyamba, ku funso lomwe adafunsidwa, mutha kuwona kuti mutha kugwedezeka.
Zonse zabodza zimachokera kuyankhulana ndi anzanga-atsikana. Mwamunayo sangazimvetsetse, kapena kuzindikira, koma osati momwe inu mumafunira. Malingaliro angakhoze kuwonedwa ngati kuyesera kuti azigwiritsa ntchito, omwe palibe munthu angalekerere.
Kotero lamulo lalikulu la kuyankhulana ndi kuwona mtima ndi kulunjika, ndipo zidzakhala zophweka kuti munthu alankhule, ndipo tidzamuuza uthenga wathu.