Atsikana ambiri amakhulupirira kuti ndikofunika kukwatirana chifukwa cha chikondi, ndipo amachoka, ndipo ambiri sangapume pamtima wawo. Koma zimakhalanso kuti patapita nthawi pambuyo paukwati, wokwatiranayo sakhala "kalonga" yemwe iye analota, ndipo chikondi chimasoweka kwinakwake. Ndi momwe tingakhalire - kukhala ndi munthu wosakondedwa kapena gawo limodzi ndi mwamuna wake?
Kodi ndizoyenera kukhala ndi munthu wosakondedwa?
Akazi ena anganene kuti, "Ndimakhala ndi osakondedwa ndipo sindikuwona vuto lililonse mu izi," koma zambiri mwazochitika zikuwoneka ngati tsoka. Ndipo iwo amatha kumvetsetsedwa, osati aliyense angathe kupeza chisangalalo m'banja losakondedwa. Komabe, kwa amayi ambiri, kusudzulana chifukwa cha kusowa kwa malingaliro sikunyanjidwe, kumangotengedwa ngati njira yomaliza. Kunena kuti "kusudzulana, chifukwa sindimakonda" kungatheke kwa mkazi wodziimira yekha ndi wodzidalira. Ndipo amayi ambiri mwa iwo amakhala akupitiriza kukhala ndi mwamuna, akuvutika chifukwa chosakhala ndi malingaliro.
Komabe ndikofunika kumvetsetsa ngati kuli kofunika kukhala ndi osakondedwa komanso pamene mungagwiritse ntchito njira yosudzulana.
Woyamba kukumbukira ndi pamene mwamuna ali mu ukapolo wa uchidakwa, mankhwala osokoneza bongo, njuga kapena matenda aakulu. Kukanika kwa munthuyo kulandira thandizo kumapangitsa kuyesetsa konse kwa mkazi wachikondi kwambiri ndi wodekha kulibe ntchito. Kudzipha m'banja ndilo vuto lalikulu ndipo nthawi zambiri chinthu chokha chomwe chingachitike pazomweku ndikuthamanga momwe mungathere. Koma pali zifukwa pamene palibe chifukwa chomveka chochoka, ndipo mkazi akupitirizabe kuchirikiza ukwati chifukwa cha ana, poganiza kuti amafunikira bambo. Mwachibadwidwe, bambo wobadwa ndi wabwino kuposa abambo a munthu wina, koma osati ngati palibe vuto pakati pa okwatirana. Ngati mikangano ndi zoopsa zimakhala zachilendo, mwanayo ayenera kukula m'banja losatha, kusudzulana kudzakhala ngati vuto nthawi imodzi, ndipo kusamvana kwa banja kudzavulaza psyche yake tsiku ndi tsiku.
Nthawi zambiri zimakhala choncho kuti mkazi akupitirizabe kuzunzidwa muukwati, poopa kutsutsidwa kwa mabwenzi ndi anzake. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ku mizinda yaying'ono, momwe palibe yemwe amasamala za kuzunzika kwauzimu kwa mkazi yemwe sadziwa kukhala ndi mwamuna wake wosakondedwa. Kawirikawiri mwa iwo kusudzulana kumachitidwa ngati akazi osochera kapena akuyenda, njira "yosagwirizanitsa anthu" ndi miseche yamtunduwu silingaganizidwe nkomwe. Pachifukwa ichi, mukhoza kulangiza chinthu chimodzi chokha - kusudzulana, chifukwa mumadzikhalira nokha, ndipo ngati mutembenukira kumbuyo kwa mwamuna wanu, ndiye kuti palibe lingaliro la anthu lomwe liyenera kukhala lolamulira.
Kodi mungakhale bwanji ndi munthu wosakondedwa?
Kuphatikiza pa zonsezi, pali nthawi zambiri pamene mkazi nayenso akusangalala kuchoka ku chiyanjano, koma sangathe chifukwa cha kudalira pazinthu zakuthupi kapena zamaganizo. Ndipo ngati kudalira koteroko sikungakhoze kugonjetsedwa, kumakhalabe kumvetsa momwe tingakhalire ndi mwamuna wosakondedwa.
Si chinsinsi chakuti akazi ali ndi zolengedwa zambiri, ndipo chikondi chingakhale ndi mithunzi yosiyanasiyana - kuchokera kuchisoni chakudana. Chinthu chachikulu ndikumvetsetsa ndi kuvomereza, koma ngati palibe zofanana, ndiye kuti tiyenera kuyang'ana njira yina yochotsera izi. Njira yothetsera vutoli ndiyoyesa kuchepetsa kuyankhulana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Mungathe kuchita izi m'njira zambiri - dziperekeni kuntchito, ana, kupeza zosangalatsa zomwe mumakonda, yesani kukhala
Koma komabe, ngati mukukhala ndi osakondeka, simungayende, mosasamala kanthu za mtundu uliwonse wodalira. Njira yotulukira kunja ingapezeke nthawi zonse, monga akunena - pali mwayi zikwi, ngati pali chikhumbo, ndipo pali zifukwa zambiri ngati palibe chikhumbo.