Pamene mu moyo wathu muli chochitika chachikulu, tikufuna kuvomerezedwa kapena kuthandizidwa ndi anthu omwe ali pafupi ndi ife. Ndipo izi sizili nthawi zonse achibale, chifukwa gawo lakuti "anthu apamtima" limaphatikizapo abwenzi. Ndipo sitimvetsa momwe tingakhalire ngati palibe mabwenzi. Koma, mwatsoka, izi zimachitika. Koma bwanji kuti munthu asakhale ndi abwenzi, tsopano tikuyesera kumvetsa.
Chifukwa chiyani ndiribe mabwenzi nkomwe?
- Yankho la funso la chifukwa chake ndilibe mabwenzi, psychology akulangiza kuyang'ana mwa ndekha, osati mwa ena. Zidzakhalanso zomveka, chifukwa mumalemba pazitukumu: "Thandizo, ndilibe mabwenzi oti ndichite chiyani?", Anthu oyandikana nawo salowerera kuti akulowetseni. Kodi munganene kuti zosiyana ndizo? Inde, ndizoona, kusowa kwa anzanu kungagwirizanitsidwe, onse ndi mawonekedwe a munthu, ndi kusakhulupirika kwake kosawerengeka. Tsopano tidzakambirana zovuta kwambiri.
- Inu mukunena kuti tsopano mulibe abwenzi, koma kodi iwo anakhalapo? Ngati pangakhalepo, nchiyani chomwe chinachititsa kuti iwo asatayike: kusunthira, kusintha ntchito (malo ophunzirira), kukwatira, kukhala ndi mwana? Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti simukusowa kudandaula, zonse ziri mu dongosolo, kusintha zosangalatsa pa moyo wanu mwachibadwa. Ndipo ngati mulibe chidwi ndi mabwenzi apamtunda (ndithudi, ngati panalibe anzanu apamtima pakati pawo), ndiye kuti mutangosamukira ku gawo lina m'moyo wanu. Osadandaula, kuyankhulana ndi omwe akukondweretsa kwa inu tsopano, ndipo mabwenzi awoneka. Ngati pali mpumulo ndi bwenzi lapamtima, muyenera kudzifunsa funso limodzi: "Kodi anali pafupi kwambiri?" Ngati ziri choncho, ndipo kusagwirizana kwachitika chifukwa cha mtundu wina wopusa, ndiye nchiani chomwe chimakulepheretsani kuyanjanitsa mgwirizano? Ndipotu, timakhululukira anzathu apamtima kwambiri, ndipo mwinamwake mukutentha kwambiri mwawona molakwika mkhalidwewo. Chabwino, ngati chinachake chinachitika chomwe sichikhululukidwa kwa wina aliyense ndipo palibe, ndiye ndani amene amadzilola yekha khalidweli?
- Tsiku lililonse mumadzifunsa funso ili: "Ndichifukwa chiyani ndilibenso anzanga komanso opanda mabwenzi", ndipo simukupeza yankho? Tiyeni tiganizire pamodzi. Mwina simukudziwa momwe mungakhalire mabwenzi ndipo simukufuna. Ndiuzeni, kodi mukusangalala kudziyang'ana pagalasi? Ngati ndi zabwino, ndi zabwino kale. Nanga bwanji za momwe amakambirana? Kodi nthawi zonse munganyoze alendo, ganizirani kuti msinkhu wawo uli wotsika kuposa wanu ndipo musazengereze kusonyeza? Kodi mukuganiza kuti anthu onse padziko lapansi akukugwiritsani ntchito, koma simukufuna kupereka chilichonse? Mwachidule, simukukonda anthu onse mosasamala, koma mukufuna kuti akhale anzanu? Sizingatheke kuti khalidweli likhoza kungoperekedwa ndi anzeru kapena mafani (ngati muli munthu wapadera), koma osati abwenzi. Simukufuna kusintha? Kenaka tulutsani lingaliro la kupeza mabwenzi ndikuyesa kudzikonda nokha, chifukwa ngakhale munthu wodekha komanso wachikondi sangathe kudziyesa yekha nthawi zonse.
- Mukuyang'ana yankho la funso: "Chifukwa chiyani ndilibe mabwenzi apamtima, ngakhale anthu amakonda kulankhula nane"? Kusakhala ndi mabwenzi, kuphatikizapo pafupi, kungakhale chifukwa cha chikhalidwe cha munthuyo.
Pali anthu oterewa, amatchedwanso introverts, omwe samasowa kulankhulana nthawi zonse, nthawi zambiri alibe zochitika zawo. Osangosokoneza ndi kukana zotsutsana. Choyambirira chingakhale chosangalatsa polankhulana ndi munthu, koma iye, monga chidziwitso, amangoopa kulola anthu ena kukhala pafupi naye. Chifukwa ndizoopsa kwambiri kuti mupatse munthu wina malingaliro ndi malingaliro anu, kodi ndi chitsimikizo chotani choti sangapange kuchoka ku kachisi wa moyo? Ngati ili ndilo vuto lanu, ndiye chinthu chokha chomwe mungakulangize ndi kuphunzira kudalira anthu pang'ono. Pambuyo pazinthu zonse, anthu ambiri pozungulira ndi anthu abwino komanso omvera, koma simukuziwona, chifukwa atsekedwa.