Kuyambira ali mwana, tonse timakumbukira nkhani za chikondi chachikuru, kumene anthu "adakhala mosangalala nthawi zonse." Ndipo ndithudi aliyense amafuna kuti kumverera uku kuwuke mu moyo wake ndipo sichinawonongekenso. Koma, mwatsoka, zimangochitika m'nthano chabe. Ndipo asayansi ambiri amalengeza kuti chikondi chimakhala zaka zitatu. Koma bwanji chikondi chimadutsa ndipo kamodzi kukonda kukomoka kwa kulingalira anthu pakapita kanthawi akuthamanga ndi kudutsa? Tiyeni tiyesere kufotokoza chodabwitsa ichi.
Kodi chikondi chidutsa nthawi yayitali bwanji?
Zambiri zochitika m'dzikoli ziyenera kudutsa muzigawo zina za chitukuko. Izi zikuphatikizapo maubwenzi a anthu. Mpikisano wathunthu umadutsamo magawo asanu: kubadwa, chitukuko, kutha, imfa, imfa. Mu chitsanzo ichi, pali zosiyana, komabe, maubwenzi ambiri aumunthu omwe alipo ndikukula mogwirizana ndi lamuloli. Ndipo ngati kubadwa kukuimira kuchititsa manyazi ndi kuitanidwa kosatetezeka mpaka patsiku, chiwonongeko chimatanthauza kusintha kuchokera ku holide yosatha mpaka kachitidwe kachitidwe kachitidwe, ndipo imfa, ndipo nkomwe, ikhoza kuwapangitsa anthu kuti asawadziwe. Kawirikawiri anthu omwe maubwenzi awo ali pachigawo chotsiriza amatha kuwona nthawi yomweyo - amakhala ndi moyo wamba, ana, galimoto, dacha komanso pamodzi amakhala ndi chizolowezi kusiyana ndi chikondi chachikulu.
Koma n'chifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika? Chikondi chathu chimapita kuti?
Si chinsinsi kwa wina aliyense kuti kumverera kwa chikondi kumayambitsidwa ndi mankhwala. Koma kupatula pa malowa palinso njira zothandizira, zomwe chilengedwe chimatiyika. Imodzi mwa njira zoterezi ndi njira yosinthira - ndikoti, ngati zokopa kapena chizindikiro kuchokera ku malo akunja akulowa malo amanjenje a ubongo kwa nthawi yayitali, amayamba kuchepetsa kukhudzidwa kwawo, ndipo kenako amasiya kulemba chizindikirochi. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mutayimitsa munthu pa mkono kwa mphindi zitatu, kumverera kumayamba kuvunda, ndipo patatha mphindi 15 iwo sadzakhala ooneka. Zomwezo zimapita kwa osuta fodya omwe, pakapita nthawi, amasiya kumvetsa fungo la fodya lomwe amachokera kwa iwo. Kusinthasintha kuli kosavuta osati kwa mphamvu, komanso kwa psyche yathu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, munthu amazoloŵera zonse. Kuphatikizapo ubale. Chikondi chathu chimakhala m'maganizo a ubongo. Ndipo ngati tiwona kumverera uku ngati chisangalalo, chimwemwe chopanda malire, chilakolako ndi maganizo, ndiye kusintha kwa njira zowopsa kuti tipulumuke. Ndipo ziribe kanthu momwe amayesera mozama, izo zidzatha posachedwa mwamsanga. Ochenjera amanena kuti chikondi sichifa, koma chimangowonjezera kumverera kwina. Ndipo ndibwino ngati ndiubwenzi wachikondi komanso wachikondi. Koma zimachitika kuti zimabweretsa chidani kapena kudzipatula kwathunthu. Kuti mupewe vuto lachiwiri, nkofunika kumvetsa momwe mungadziwire kuti chikondicho chadutsa.
Kodi mungamvetse bwanji kuti chikondi chadutsa?
Anthu ambiri amapanga zolakwika mu ubale wawo chifukwa cholowetsa m'malo molakwika. Anthu amayamba kukonda chikondi mwachikondi, pamene munthuyo ali wabwino, ndipo amawoneka kuti ali abwino potsalira malingaliro athu. Pamene chiyanjano chikuyamba, chophimba chimayamba kugonjetsedwa, ndipo timamuwona munthuyo mwachinyengo chake, osati zomwe tikufuna kuwona. Gawo la maubwenzi akukwaniritsidwa kale. Mbali ina ikupitirizabe kukula ndikukula, kugwiritsidwa ntchito ndi pang'onopang'ono kumagwirizana ndi zinthu zenizeni. Koma nthawi zonse pamakhala gawo la anthu omwe chibwenzicho chimakhala chizunzo. Ndiyeno chikondi chimayamba kufa. Mukudziwa bwanji ngati chikondi chadutsa? Chirichonse chiri chophweka mokwanira. Kodi inuyo mumachita chiyani ngati simukukonda chakudya, chipinda kapena chodabwitsa? Mukuyamba kupewa, yesetsani kukhala komweko, kodi chinthu chomwe simukuchifuna ndi kuti? Momwemo, mukupitirizabe kukhala moyo wanu, mosasamala kanthu za chinthu ichi, koma ngati mwadzidzidzi muyenera kukhala pafupi naye, mukupirira, yesetsani nokha, ndi zina zotero. Kuvomereza kuti simukuzindikira khalidwe ili ndilovuta. Ndipo izo zimakhudza zonsezi nthawi - pamene iwe unasiya kudzikonda wekha, kapena kuleka kukukonda iwe.
Bwanji ngati muwona kuti chikondicho wadutsa? Mukawona kuwonongeka kwa malingaliro kuchokera kwa mnzako, ndibwino kukhala pansi ndikumuuza zakukhosi kwake. Popanda kukhudzidwa ndi zopweteka. Khalani wokonzeka kumasula munthuyo kumbali zonse zinayi, chifukwa mukudziwa kale kuti zonse sizidalira iye, koma njira zothetsera. Ngati nkhaniyo ikukhudza inuyo, ndiye kuti mungasankhe izi:
- Sankhani pazokambirana. Fotokozerani munthuyo momwe ziliri. Mukakhala ndi nthawi yayitali, muzitha kuchita kamodzi kokondedwa wanu.
- Tengani nokha chisankho chomwe sipadzakhalanso kubwerera. Musataye mtima kuti tsiku lina zonse zidzayambiranso
- Musalole kutsutsidwa, kukhumudwa, misonzi ndi chisokonezo. Kumbukirani kuti chirichonse padziko lapansi ndi cha kanthaŵi ndipo zonse zimadutsa.
- Musamumvere chisoni munthu amene mukufuna kumugawana naye. Chifundo chimapangitsa munthu kufooka. Inde, osati kumverera kotero kuti mukhale pafupi, pamene kumverera kulibenso.
- Poyesa kuyesa kuti musagwirizane ndi chikondi chanu chakale. Izi zikhoza kutanthauzidwa ngati kuyesa kubwezeretsa kale.
Njira ina imakhudzana ndi vuto pamene simukufuna kuchoka wokondedwa wanu. Pachifukwa ichi, ziyenera kukutsitsimutsa mtima wanu. Mwinamwake muyenera kupumula wina ndi mzake, kapena muyende limodzi. Kusintha mkhalidwe ndi njira yabwino yowonjezera maubwenzi.
Sitingaleke mphindi yokongola ndi chifuniro chonse. Komabe, kuti atipatse ife paphewa. Kumbukirani kuti mgwirizano uli pamwamba pa zonse, ntchito yaikulu. Pamwamba pa inu nokha pa wokondedwa wanu. Uku ndiko kugonjetsa mgwirizano wa mavuto ndi mavuto. Chikondi sichifa. Iye amabadwanso mu chikhalidwe china chosasangalatsa ndi chachikondi cha chikondi ndi ubwenzi. Kufikira kukwaniritsidwa kwa maubwenzi atsopanowa pambuyo pa moyo wautali wautali ndi ntchito yaikulu ya onse omwe amawayamikira okondedwa awo ndikudziwa kumene chikondi chimapita.