Sitikudziwa kuti aliyense angatsutse kuti kugonana ndi gawo lofunika pa miyoyo yathu, kudziletsa kwa nthawi yaitali komanso kukhudza thanzi labwino, ndipo sitingasangalale. Koma kodi izi sizinapindule kwambiri pa mbali iyi? Ndipotu, timayesetsa kunena kuti chimwemwe chimatheka kokha ngati pali chiwawa chogonana, ndipo ngati zonse zili bwino, ndiye kuti sizinali zachilendo.
Kodi kumasulidwa mu kugonana kapena chiwerewere?
Kulankhula za kumasulidwa kwa mtundu uliwonse, timatanthauza kusasinthika khalidwe m'madera osiyanasiyana, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kulankhulana kusangalatseni. Koma ngati zokhudzana ndi kumasuka, ndiye kuti pali kusagwirizana: wina amaganiza kuti izi ndizowonetseredwa kwambiri za ukazi, wina amazitcha kuti khalidwe losavomerezeka. Inde, wina anganene - ndi anthu angati, malingaliro ambiri, koma mbali yaikulu pambali imeneyi imasewera ndi chisokonezo cha malingaliro, ambiri amangosokoneza kumasulidwa ndi kunyenga.
Mfundo yakuti anthu ambiri amatsutsa mwatsatanetsatane - osasankha posankha anthu ogonana nawo, amatchedwa kugonana ndi chiwerewere ndipo sagwirizana ndi mutu wa zokambirana zathu. Inde, kumasulidwa kwatipangitsa ife kulondola, payeso yofanana ndi amuna, kuti tipeze kukhutira mu kugonana, kusankha osankhidwa mwaufulu ndikusangalala mbali iyi ya moyo wathunthu. Koma kusinthasintha kwa anthu ogonana nawo nthawi zambiri kumangotsutsa anthu, komanso kumayambitsa matenda. Asayansi ena (Auckland, New Zealand) amalingalira za makhalidwe awa, chifukwa alibe zifukwa zosinthika. Kuphatikiza apo, kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti kuvutika maganizo kumakhala kovuta kwa amayi omwe chiwerewere ndi chizoloŵezi chogonana.
Kugonjetsa kugonana sikukutanthauza kusankhana kwa kugonana, koma kumakhudza ubale wotsitsikana, kusowa mantha kwambiri ndi kutseguka kwa zowawa zatsopano. Mkazi womasulidwa amasankha munthu yekha, ndipo samafulumizitsa kwa munthu woyamba amene amakomana naye. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti m'moyo wonse pangakhale munthu mmodzi yekha, kungowonjezera kwakukulu kwa abwenzi mmalo mwake kumasonyeza kukhalapo kwa maofesi kusiyana ndi kumasulidwa kwa kugonana. Popeza kawirikawiri chifukwa cha chiwerewere ndi mantha obisika ndi kudzidandaula, mkazi wokwanira yekha sasowa kudziwonetsera yekha ndi ena za kugonana kwake.
Kodi kumasulidwa kwa kugonana kumawonekera bwanji?
Kulimba mtima kwachikazi ndi kudziimira kumadziwonetsera mu mawonekedwe, ndi mwachinsinsi, ndi mwa njira yolankhulirana. Koma momveka bwino izi ziwonetseredwe mwamseri ndi mnzanu, ndipo palipanso kuti asonyeze kumasulidwa kwa kugonana, bwanji osati ndi mwamuna pabedi?
Koma chirichonse chimayenda, chirichonse chimasintha, ndipo ngati kugonana koyambirira koyamwa kumatengedwa ngati chinthu choletsedwa, tsopano pafupifupi mkazi aliyense ali nawo mu arsenal yake. Choncho, mkazi woomboledwa (kapena amene akufuna kukhala mmodzi) ndikofunikira kuti asakhale ndi zipangizo zamakono zogonana, koma osawopa kuyesa zatsopano. Ndipotu, tanthawuzo la kumasulidwa sikuyenera kugwirizana ndi khalidwe lapamwamba, koma kulandira kuchokera ku kugonana komwe kumakhala zosangalatsa zokha komanso kumakwanitsa wokondana naye. Ndicho chifukwa chake anthu ali ndi mawu amodzi
Choncho, kumasuka pabedi ndi njira yabwino yolumikizira moyo wanu wapamtima, chifukwa chiyani aliyense saganiza kuti azichita mwanjira imeneyi? Pali zifukwa zingapo izi, zikhoza kukhala zoyamba kugonana, komanso zolakwika m'banja kapena Puretani kulera. Koma nthawi zambiri wokondedwayo sangathe kukhala womasuka, samva otetezeka ndi iye, choncho sangathe kumasuka. Kotero si nthawizonse mu kusowa kwa kumasuka kumene kuli koyenera kudzidzudzula nokha, mwinamwake pafupi ndi inu si munthu ameneyo basi?